


You Are The Only Exception

by midnightruse



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), College AU, Flashbacks, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk is a cinnamon roll, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Keith works at a bar, Lance is a frat star, M/M, Mild Language, Multi, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Assault, Pining, but its okay they have good friends, pidge is an actual gremlin, these boys are oblivious, what are tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 13:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11487345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightruse/pseuds/midnightruse
Summary: Keith works nights at a bar off campus; during the day he has a full course load of Astronomy classes, courtesy of his full ride scholarship at Altea University. Lance is the social chair of his fraternity and is determined to live the full college experience while getting a degree in Astrophysics. Somehow their paths keep crossing, even though Keith is determined to keep his distance from the obnoxious boy with pretty eyes that are the same color as his ridiculous blue snapback.College, pining boys, angst, and no adult supervision. What could possibly go wrong?In other words—the bartender Keith and frat star Lance AU that nobody asked for. Enjoy the hell, my friends.This one's for you Sharpshooter





	1. Colors: Everything is Blue

Keith stumbled into bed around 4 AM. It was a Thursday night, well technically Friday morning, but he considered himself lucky that he was even in bed this early. He blindly reached for his phone charger before plugging his phone in and rolling over. Keith groaned as he did the math. _Four hours of sleep is enough, right?_ 9 AM classes suck major ass, especially on Fridays.

The bar he worked at was just off campus, which was a blessing and a curse. His commute was only five minutes from his apartment if he was on his motorcycle; twenty if he took the bus. But the bar being so close to campus meant that it was easy for students to get to. Nothing is worse than rich, stressed out college kids with mom and dad’s credit card.

Keith rolled onto his stomach and buried his head into his pillow with a frustrated groan. His mind felt dead but his body refused to settle down. He laid there in silence, counting his breaths in an attempt to relax, but after 20 minutes he flipped back over in his bed to look at the ceiling. He blew several strands of hair out of his face. Keith stared at the ceiling, hoping that if he glared long enough maybe the ceiling would collapse and put him out of his misery.

He let out a long sigh that turned into a yawn. _This is going to be a long night._

 

* * *

 

When his alarm went off at 8, Keith felt like death. He must have looked like it too if the amused look Pidge gave him as he stumbled into the kitchen was any indicator. They were sitting at the table typing away on their Mac, surrounded by loose papers with equations and Pidge-speak that Keith wouldn’t be able to decipher even if he was fully conscious.

“Well good morning, Sunshine.” Keith only groaned in response as he yawned and rubbed his eyes. Pidge snorted and turned their attention back to their computer. “There’s coffee." 

Keith perked up a bit at that. He grabbed a mug that looked (mostly) clean and stumbled to the fridge to grab the creamer. Most people imagined he was a heathen like Pidge and drank his coffee black, but Keith was a sucker for anything sweet. He grabbed the almost-empty bottle and dumped it into the mug before pouring coffee in. Keith wrapped both hands around his cup and took a long sip. God, coffee was amazing. He swore he had chills just smelling the stuff.

He sat at the table across from Pidge and drank his cup in silence, waiting for the caffeine to kick in. After a few blessed minutes, Keith could feel the sleep-deprived fog in his head being pushed out, at least for the time being.

“What time did you go to bed?” Pidge didn’t look up from their computer, shrugging instead. Keith wasn’t sure if Pidge had actually moved since he saw them last, which was at 8 the day before when he left for work.

“Ummmm…midnight?”

Keith looked at the stacks of books and papers surrounding his small roommate. He couldn’t remember if they had been awake or not when he got home from his shift last night, he was too out of it. Keith quirked an eyebrow at Pidge. “Yeah and I’m dating a frat boy.”

Pidge stopped typing and looked at Keith. The mischievous look in their eyes had Keith cringing internally. “You wish.”

“For the last time, Pidge, I do not like Lance!" 

Pidge smirked. “Who said I was talking about Lance?” 

Keith groaned and buried his face in his hands. “I—You—Ugh! It is too early for this shit.” Pidge didn’t respond, going back to sifting through pages of notes. Keith was pretty sure that was worse than a response.

Keith walked back into his room and quickly threw on a black pair of skinny jeans and a black tank top, tying his red flannel around his waist. He laced up his combat boots before trudging to the bathroom to brush his teeth and pull his hair up into a low ponytail.

He threw his backpack over his shoulder and snagged his keys off the kitchen counter. “Get some sleep, Pidge.” They mumbled something into their laptop screen that Keith didn’t understand, but their tone was clear. Keith opened the apartment door and flipped his keys around to grab the one he needed to lock the door. God knows that Pidge wouldn’t notice someone breaking in. Hell, if the intruder left them alone, Pidge would probably not care either.

As he shut the door, Pidge yelled out a cheery “Say hi to your boyfriend for me!”

Keith slammed the door shut in response.

He looked at his phone to check the time as he walked down the steps, plugging in his headphones and shuffling his music as he went. _8:40, just enough time to get to class before he does._ Keith shook his head in frustration as he made his way across the street, heading toward his lecture hall.

He got there without anyone trying to talk to him. That was the only beauty of morning classes; everybody was too pissed off at the world for being awake to talk to each other. He opened the door and made his way down the aisle to the section he normally sat in—the middle. Sit in the front and you get all the prof’s questions. Sit in the back, aka the twilight zone, and you might as well have stayed home in bed. The middle was a happy medium. At least, it was when a certain fraternity social chair wasn’t present.

Keith looked up from his phone and let out an exasperated groan when he saw a familiar blue snapback sitting in the row he was already making his way down. _Dammit, he’s early for once. And it’s too late to change rows._ Keith took a deep breath to bring his agitation down to a more reasonable level. He could do this. 90 minutes. One lecture. Then he could go to the library and chill before his next class. He could do it.

“Keith!” Keith closed his eyes and sat down with a grimace, ignoring the overly energetic 22-year-old sitting next to him. Seriously, it wasn't even really  _morning_ yet, how could he be this happy?

As Lance slipped into a completely one-sided conversation about the party his fraternity was planning, Keith slouched in his seat, hoping to disappear if he made himself small enough.

He looked at his phone. It was 9 AM. Today was already going to be a long day.


	2. Gotta Catch 'Em All

When the professor finally released them, Keith was certain that he was about to have an aneurysm. Or he was going to have to call Pidge to cover up a murder. Lance’s murder, specifically.

 “Okay, but did you understand _anything_ that Dr. Iverson even said today? Because I’m fairly certain he was speaking a different language.” The fact that Keith did not respond in the slightest did not deter Lance from continuing, walking beside Keith as they left the building. “And I would know, I speak two languages and known a fair amount of Greek and Latin, plus Hunk is always speaking to his family in—” 

“As thrilling as this conversation has been, I’ve gotta go.” Keith turned to walk down the quad toward the library. He didn’t have class until 12, but he didn’t feel like walking all the way back to his apartment. Plus he didn’t want to have to deal Pidge after…whatever their talk was this morning. 

Lance didn’t answer. For a minute, Keith thought that he had left, but all of his hopes were crushed when he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. Keith stiffened but kept walking. _Maybe if I can make it to the library he will leave. It’d be social suicide for him to actually go inside....right?_

“Sorry about that, Keith! I had to talk to James to make sure he talked to Tri Delt and DG’s presidents about this weekend’s exchange. You know how it is.”

Keith rolled his eyes so hard he thought that Lance surely must have felt it. Stupid fraternity and sorority talk. Keith didn’t get it, at all. Sure, the Greek system at Altea University actually had a pretty good reputation, and he had met plenty of Greek students that weren’t total a-holes. But he hated when Lance started dropping terms that he didn’t understand. And _please,_ Keith would sooner face a caffeine-deprived Pidge than ask Lance what he meant.

A silence in Lance’s talking had Keith panicking as he realized that Lance had asked him a question.

“Huh?” Real eloquent, Kogane. 

“Your ability to tune people out is pretty impressive, Keith.” Lance laughed, pulling his arm off of Keith to readjust his backpack strap slung haphazardly across his shoulder. “I asked if you wanted to come. To the party tomorrow night. Hunk said that he already talked to Pidge, and they were down to go so long as they finished their paper today.” 

Keith internally cursed Pidge and their friendship with Hunk. He didn’t _really_ mean it because come on, Hunk was the nicest and most genuine human he’d ever met, but the fact that Pidge was almost as close with Hunk as they were with Keith had its disadvantages at times. Such as times like these, when Hunk’s best friend wanted Keith to go to a party. 

“I actually have work.”

Keith tried not to notice how Lance’s face fell for a split second before slipping back into its normal, cocky demeanor. “Well, you’re no fun. Who the hell works on a Saturday night in a college town?”

“I work at Voltron. You know, the bar off the end of campus by—”

“By that bagel place? Holy shit you have to eat there sometime if you haven’t already. Let me tell you, nothing satisfies the body like a loaded, toasted bagel at 2 AM after a few too rounds at the bar.” They were at the front of the library now, but Lance didn’t seem like he was going to leave so Keith just stopped in front of the door to lean against a pillar and wait it out. “That’s awesome that you work at Voltron though! I haven’t made it over there this semester between the house and classes, but Hunk and I went there all the time last year. Keith, oh man, this one time, Hunk got absolutely _plastered_ and passed out on the bar. Like, his entire body on the bar like it was his bed. I never let him live it down.”

Keith couldn’t help the half smile that quirked his lips as he imagined the scene. He’d seen plenty of weird things at the bar already, and he’d only been working there for two months, but that sounded pretty hilarious.

Lance laughed at the memory. His face lit up and he started talking animatedly with his hands. “Holy crow, when Hunk turned 22 we went to this bar and there were these stri—” Whatever Lance was going to say next was drowned out by an obnoxiously loud ringtone coming from his pocket. The Cuban boy fished his phone out of his pocket, a toothy grin taking over his face before he slid his thumb across the screen to answer it. “Speak of the devil! How’s the love of my life doing? ... What? … No, Hunk, you’re not the devil it’s just the phrase! You know...”

Keith stood awkwardly while he waited for Lance to be done on the phone. Sure, the boy irritated him to no end, but he wasn’t going to just be rude and bail on the guy mid conversation. 

It didn’t take long for Lance to blurt out some endearing term to his best friend before hanging up (really, their relationship was strangely intimate for "friends"). He turned back to Keith, ready to explain whatever his phone call was about, but Keith cut him off before he could start. 

“Was that the Pokémon theme song?” 

Lance looked stunned at Keith’s words, like he couldn’t believe they were coming out of his mouth. “What did you say?”

Keith glared at Lance. “Do you seriously have the Pokémon theme song as your ringtone?”

Lance still looked shocked, but he also looked like he could cry. “I can’t believe it.”  
  
“Believe what?” Keith was confused by Lance’s mixed emotions.

“Mr. Emo Badass Mullet Man watched Pokémon. Holy shit. The world needs to know.”

Keith felt his cheeks reddening with embarrassment. “You’d have to be an idiot to not recognize the song…plus, Shiro and I used to watch it when we were kids.”

Lance just shook his head with a wonderstruck smile. “I’m still shook that you know Pokémon. This is a historical moment, Keith!”

“Did you just unironically use the word ‘shook?’” Keith was desperate to change the conversation. Lance had the audacity to fake an insulted look.

“Keith. I do not think that a dude that has a mullet can question my word choice.” Before Keith could argue, Lance looked back down at his phone. “Sorry to bail, but I’ve gotta go help Hunk with a thing. Hasta la later, Keith!” Lance stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked off without another word.

Keith watched the stupid blue snapback disappear around the corner. He brushed his bangs out of his face and turned to walk through the library doors, mumbling to himself. 

“I don’t have a damn mullet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely did not expect to get such a great response from that first chapter, thank you all so much. 
> 
> Chapter title brought to you by Pokémon...duh
> 
> So as far as the Greek thing goes, I'll keep it as accurate as possible. I'm actually a Tri Delt at my university (shoutout to my house, I have no shame) and our Greek system is hella rad so a lot of this fic will be based on my experiences with that whole scene. I can only speak for my school, but most of the stereotypes are really inaccurate? I'm just as much of a weird nerd in my chapter house as I am at home, and my best friend is the same way. So, yeah, enjoy a slice of my Greek adventure mixed with Klance trash.
> 
> I'd also like to mention that I have NO experience with astrophysics courses... or any science outside of gen bio. I took calculus in high school but haven't touched a math book since? I'm a journalism major with a handful of criminal justice and psych courses under my belt. Please forgive me.


	3. Yo, I'll Be Over Here

“Have some fun tonight, Keith!”

“…yeah…fun…umm, thanks. I’ll see you next week then.” Keith dropped his phone onto the couch with a groan, throwing his arm over his eyes.

“What are you crying about in there?” Pidge called out from their room.

“My boss Allura called and said that there was a minor gas leak, so Voltron is closed until next week. 

“Wait,” Pidge walked into the living room to stand over Keith. “You’re telling me that you are complaining because you _don’t_ have to go to work on a Saturday night?”

Keith lifted his head up from his spot on the couch to look at Pidge. They were standing over his head, which made them look upside down from Keith’s angle, but that didn’t lessen the intensity of the glare they were giving Keith.

“…yeah?”

Pidge stared at Keith for a few seconds, their expression quickly going from what-the-fuck-Keith to let's-fuck-with-Keith.

Keith’s eyebrows drew together in a frown. “Pidge, no.”

“Pidge, yes.”

 

* * *

  

“Remind me why I’m friends with you?”

“Because in middle school I was the only one not terrified of you. And I have an unsurmountable and ever-growing folder of blackmail on every electronic I own that I know you do not want anyone ever finding.”

Keith ran a hand through his bangs and glared down at Pidge. “I hate you.”

“Awe, I love you too!”

 

The low sound of muffled bass could be heard from several houses down. Keith’s scowl managed to grow when Pidge stopped him at the edge of the lawn.

“It’s a party, Keith. Not a firing squad.”

“Is that an option?”

Pidge elbowed him in the gut, an easy feat given their height, before giving Keith a hesitant smile. “Come on, it’ll be fun, Keith. If you seriously hate it after I’ve had a drink and found Hunk then we can leave. Just…give it a shot, okay?” At Keith’s pained look, they wrapped their arms around him to give him a small hug. “You deserve to be happy, Keith.”

Keith let out a sigh and ruffled Pidge’s hair. “Thanks, Pidgey.” He wrapped an arm around their shoulders and took a deep breath. “Let’s get this over with.”

 

* * *

 

Five drinks in, Keith was starting to remember why he never drank like this. Sure, he’d have a drink here and there, but he tried to refrain from A) drinking mass quantities B) mixing alcohol types and C) taking open drinks from strangers. Leaning against a wall in a fraternity basement, Keith had broken all of his rules.

At the sight of yet _another_ couple grinding up on each other enough to constitute as a serious display of public indecency, Keith chugged the remaining two-thirds of the mystery drink in his solo cup. Beside him, Pidge snickered.

“Easy there, Mr. I Don’t Party. Drink any more and you might actually have fun.”

Keith gave Pidge an unimpressed look. “I’m going to get another drink.”

Pidge yelled something after Keith, but their words were lost in the crowd and the overly-loud music. Keith figured that the two of them had been there for about an hour, and all five of his drinks had been quickly downed to alleviate the pain of watching too many horny college students trying to get it on in the middle of the sticky dance floor. Pidge was slowly nursing their second beer of the night, still waiting for Hunk to show up so they could say hi. Pidge had texted him, but he had gotten caught up helping his girlfriend Shay with a paper. He was finally on his way to the party and Pidge promised Keith that they could leave as soon as Hunk got there, but Keith was over it. He was tired and sweaty and well on his way to being more than just a little buzzed.

When he reached the drink table, Keith filled his cup up with whatever was in the large jug. He sniffed the liquid in his cup and wrinkled his nose. Seriously, did these guys just keep emptying random bottles of hard-a in with some crystal light and sprite?

Keith shrugged and took a drink as he started to make his way back over to the wall that he and Pidge had claimed as their own. The two of them had been friends long enough to perfect their don’t-talk-to-us-we-will-bite-you look. It was _extremely_ effective.

Keith held his cup in the air as he pushed through several people to get back to Pidge, reminding himself, yet again, why he hates crowds. When he finally tripped over the last person, cursing colorfully under his breath, he realized that Pidge wasn’t alone. Hunk was standing next to them, and Pidge was gasping for breath laughing over something Hunk had said. A corner of Keith’s mouth quirked up into the ghost of a smile. There was something contagious that he couldn’t fight about seeing his best friend so happy.

Pidge caught sight of Keith and waved with a grin. _Amazing what two beers can do to such a little person._ Keith raised his free hand to greet Hunk, but he froze mid wave when his gaze fell on the blue snapback that had begun to haunt his dreams. How could he have forgotten about that small detail? 

“Keith!!” 

Keith downed his entire drink.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bring on the competitive shots and bad decisions between two clueless boys!!
> 
> Chapter title inspired by Alessia Cara's "Here"
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr! I'm still midnightruse there ^_^   
> (I tried to do the fun little hyperlink but can't figure out the coding, so here we are)


	4. Death of a Bachelor

Things started to get hazy after Lance showed up, though Keith refused to admit it to himself.

“Fact or Fiction—you slept with your History 105 TA.” 

“God, I fucking wish. She was hot. I probably could have gotten an A if I had.” Lance topped off Keith’s shot glass. “Fiction. Drink up, Buttercup.”

Keith downed the shot before chasing it with a sip of coke. “Your turn.”

Lance twirled his empty shot glass around absentmindedly while he studied Keith, thinking of a question. He smirked, clearly trying to keep in his laughter. “Fact or Fiction—you sent Altea’s starting quarterback to the hospital last semester because he was being a dick to Pidge.”

Keith loudly slammed his glass onto the table. “That is a fucking Fact. Holy hell, Lance, that asshat kept giving Pidge shit when they asked everyone at a party to use they/them pronouns.” Keith grinned wickedly as he remembered the night. “I punched his front teeth out before kicking his family jewels so far up his ass that he wasn't able to sit for over a week. Shiro was  _pissed_  when the cops called him saying I was being detained for “excessive violence,” but he was so proud when I explained what happened.”

Lance laughed so hard that he had tears in his eyes, and it only took a second before Keith joined in. Once the boys had their laughter under control, Lance grabbed the liquor bottle and filled Keith’s glass. “I win, you have to drink again.”

Keith groaned and took the shot without breaking his half-hearted glare at the dark-skinned boy sitting beside him. Somehow he had drunk a significantly greater number of shots than Lance had, even though the game was simple enough. “Two Truths and a Lie” and “20 Questions” had a baby earlier in the night, producing “Fact or Fiction.” Person A would make a statement about Person B. If it was a fact, Person B had to drink. If it was fiction, Person A would drink. It was easy enough, right?

Unless you were Keith, that is.

He had always had shit luck. Dead parents, bad foster homes, kicked out of high school, and now—loosing drinking games against Lance-freaking-McClain, Mr. Frat Star Extraordinaire. Okay, maybe sucking at a game was on a very different level than the other devastating events in his life, but right now it sucked pretty bad. Bad in the way that Keith was pretty sure he was very,  _very_ drunk and one-hundred percent attracted to the boy next to him. Wait, what? No, he was just a drunk gay kid tossing back shots with one of the hottest guys at hs university, nothing gay to see here...okay, maybe a little bit of gay, but still! Lance was... Lance!

Keith pouted and rested his elbow on his knee, propping his chin up with his hand to look at Lance better. Why did Lance think he was so cool anyway? Sure, he was tall, charming, and unfairly handsome, but he ruined it with that stupid blue snapback he  _refused_  to leave back in 2008 where it belonged. Wait—why was he  _complimenting_ Lance?? He didn’t like the guy, hell they weren’t really even friends...right??

Keith frowned more as he tried to think back. The guy annoyed him beyond belief, sure, but Lance had been around since day one at Altea University when he had literally run into Keith sprinting out of their dorm, knocking the both of them to the ground. Then the universe had blessed (read: cursed) Keith further by placing Lance in three of the same freshman courses as him that semester. Ever since, they had at least one course together every semester, no matter how hard Keith had tried to pick courses and times that he hoped Lance wouldn't take. It worked out really well, clearly. Usually, when Keith hated someone he was pretty good at making them quickly get the hell out of his life. But Lance…Lance never left. No matter what Keith tried, those damned blue eyes kept coming back around, bright as ever.

Lance’s tipsy giggle broke Keith’s concentration. “You’re cute when you’re all pouty. Did you know that?”

If Keith hadn’t already been a little red from the alcohol, his face was  _definitely_  red now. “What are you talking about? I’m not cute! And I’m not pouting!” Keith realized too late that he had instinctively crossed his arms and started pouting even more. Lance’s smile only widened as he laughed again. Keith found his anger dissipating, though, as he lost himself in the brilliant blue galaxies in Lance’s eyes. How had he never noticed all the flecks of gray and different shades of blue before?

“Sorry, Keef,” Lance slurred, leaning in closer to Keith, “but you are absolutely, one-hundred percent, without a doubt the cutest boy at this party.” 

“Fiction,” Keith said without a moment of hesitation.

“What—what?” Lance sputtered. Keith could see the thought process working through Lance’s face and man, was it adorable. He felt warmth spreading through his body, and it wasn’t from the alcohol. 

“You said I’m the cutest boy here. That’s not true.” Keith’s eyes softened and a brilliant, drunken smile took over his face. That last shot must have shut his brain down for the night because his mouth started working before he even thought the words coming out of his mouth, and then once he said them he found that he meant every letter. “I'm not the cutest boy here, Lance. You are.” 

It visibly took Lance several full seconds to process Keith’s sudden declaration. Then Lance’s eyes widened and he looked at Keith in awe. “Holy shit.” Lance leaned back dramatically to deliver the clever pick up line that would (hopefully) cover his flushed face and pounding heart, but he leaned too far and lost his balance. He realized too late that he was going to fall of the couch they were sitting on.

Keith jerked forward and grabbed Lance’s arms to pull him back up. He had reacted on instinct and only intended to keep Lance from falling off, but in his intoxicated state he underestimated his strength. Lance ended up on top of Keith, who had fallen backward on the couch with his momentum.

Keith looked up to see Lance’s face only inches away from his own. He could smell the alcohol on Lance’s breath and the faint, sweet smell of mint of his hair from his shampoo. Lance had frozen on top of Keith, mesmerized much the same with the boy underneath him.

Lance tentatively brushed Keith’s loose bangs out of his eyes, trailing his fingers along Keith’s jaw. His thumb lightly grazed Keith’s bottom lip, causing Keith to inhale a sharp breath.

Keith’s eyes kept falling to Lance’s lips. He wanted to keep looking at the stars of Lance’s eyes and get lost forever, but his own eyes wouldn’t listen to him. He was drawn in to everything that was Lance, and he found himself riding a new high that had nothing to do with the fraternity party and everything to do with Lance McClain.

Keith was impatient. He was impulsive. He never did things slowly or half-assed. It was with this intensity and vigor that he grabbed Lance’s shirt and pulled the boy down to meet his lips with a kiss.

Every nerve in his body was tingling with a burning desire, and Keith knew that Lance was the only thing that keep the feeling from dying out. Lance let himself melt into Keith as he deepened the kiss, desperate to satisfy his longing and to convey the feelings he had been harboring for Keith. Neither of them realized how much they had needed each other until this moment. It was amidst dozens of drunk college kids in a dirty fraternity house that the missing pieces of their lives finally started to slide into place.

Lance pulled back so he could look at Keith. Starlit galaxies met violet nebulas. The brightness of the universe itself found a rival that night in the fire and passion that had ignited between Keith and Lance.

Lance ran his thumb back over Keith’s lips, smiling the softest smile Keith had ever seen. “You really are beautiful, you know that?”

“Shut up and let me kiss you.” Keith ignored the blush staining his cheeks as he wrapped his fingers in Lance’s hair to pull him back down for another kiss. Lost in each other, neither noticed Pidge and Hunk shaking their heads across the room, arguing about who technically won their bet of when their friends were finally going to get together.

Pidge won, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for being patient!! Life has been insane lately, so I haven't had any free time to sit down and write. BUT I finally got chapter four done! 
> 
> This chapter's title is brought to you by the god that is Brendon Urie, Mr. Panic at the Disco himself.


	5. My Own Worst Enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added new tags! Please read them! There is a sexual assault flashback scene this chapter. I have it blocked off with three line breaks, so if you want to skip it you completely can and you should still have a good idea of what is going on. If you have any questions/concerns, please let me know and I'll try to help you out.

A _major_ hangover was waiting for Keith when he woke up the next morning. In his apartment. In his bed. _When did I—how the hell did I get home?_

“Keith, I swear to fuck if you don’t get your sorry ass out of bed I’m going to call your brother!” Pidge’s yell was accentuated by the sound of something falling and a loud “fuck!”

Keith laughed and sat up in bed, only to have the world spin around him. He moaned and put his pounding head in his hands. “I’m dead.” He slowly stood up and realized he was somehow shirtless and wearing a pair of gray sweats with the AU logo on it. He didn’t remember anything from last night… 

He shuffled down the hall and out to the kitchen, squinting at the bright light. He paid no attention to Pidge, who was currently climbing up the cabinets to get on the counter, and made his way straight to the coffee maker. He slid a mug under it and walked toward Pidge. He reached up and easily grabbed the bottle of Advil while Pidge glared at him as they finally were able to reach the same shelf. Keith grumbled as he poured a few in his hand and went to get his coffee mug. “Not my fault you’re a tiny gremlin.”

“I will stab you in your sleep.” Keith chose to ignore the comment as Pidge settled on the counter with their legs dangling over.

Keith could _feel_ their smirk.

“Soooooooo… how was last night?”

Keith looked at Pidge before answering. Yep, there was a smirk. “Fine, I guess? I have a shitty hangover if that’s what you’re wondering. I shouldn’t have drank.” Keith poured a liberal amount of creamer into his coffee before taking a sip and sighing in content. 

“Think, Edgelord, think _very_ hard. What did you do last night?” 

He shot them an irritated look. He was too hungover to be dealing with Pidge giving him shit for…whatever he did last night. Speaking of… “You dragged me to that frat party, I had a drink…make that several drinks…holy hell how many did I have? I drank while you waited for Hunk to get there. He did, I was very buzzed and then I…” Keith trailed off as his brain slowly started to fill in the blanks.

_He’d been irritated…why? Lance had shown up! Lance showed up and they were talking, which is weird why was he hanging out with Lance, but then Lance and he took some shots… Then they played that stupid game and he drank even more…this explains the hangover…And then he and Lance…they…he and Lance. Lance… What…?_

Keith’s eyes shot open wide and he almost dropped his coffee mug (nothing could actually separate the college kid from his caffeine fix). “HOLY FUCK I KISSED LANCE.” 

Pidge was basically vibrating with amusement. “Who would have guessed that Keith-I’mSoEmo-Kagone had game?” 

Keith couldn’t even react to Pidge’s insult because he was still trying to process the fact that he had _kissed Lance holy shit._ The details of the night flooded back to him but got fuzzy and eventually faded out entirely. “When did we come home? _How_ did we get home?”

Pidge jumped off the counter and made their way into the living room to plop down on the couch. “Lance brought you back and helped you change and the whole time you wouldn’t stop going off about how much you like him and that his eyes, _oh his eyes_ , are so pretty and that you really wanted to kiss him again.”

“WHAT?” Keith choked, frantically looking at Pidge. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

They just laughed. “About Lance taking you home, yes. That was me. The rest is true, you just said it to me, and let me tell you, if I ever have to hear about how good Lance McClain kisses, I will share every single picture and video of you from freshman year with Lance’s entire fraternity.” Keith cringed. Freshman year was _not_ a good time. “Hunk had to help Lance home so don’t worry about being the only blackout of the night.” 

Keith did find some satisfaction in that, more than he probably should have, but he could think about that later. He groaned and curled up around his coffee on the other end of the couch from Pidge. Right now, he needed to figure out what he was going to do tomorrow when he had class with Lance.

_Fuck._

* * *

Monday morning came _way_ sooner than Keith would have liked. He was one big bundle of anxiety.

Keith walked into the hall and was relieved when he didn’t see any blue in the crowd of half-asleep students. He shuffled to his official unassigned seat (if there’s one thing that college kids respect, it’s unassigned seats) and pulled out his computer so he could take notes once class started.

Several minutes passed and the lecture hall was quickly filled with students, but there was no sign of Lance. As much as Keith didn’t want to have the inevitable conversation about what happened Saturday night, he kind of…wanted to see Lance? Wait. No. He definitely didn’t want to see Lance. That’s weird. Or…was it?

Keith groaned quietly and dropped his head onto the small pull-out desk. He wanted to see Lance… He liked Lance. He _liked_ liked Lance. He’d _kissed_ Lance and Lance had kissed him back. Keith was glad his face was hidden so nobody around him could see the stupid smile on his face.

* * *

The entire period passed without any sign of Lance. Keith pushed down the worry and told himself he was being paranoid. Lance probably just overslept, he wasn’t avoiding Keith, there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for him not being in class today. He’d talk to Lance tomorrow. Everything would be fine.

* * *

 

Lance didn’t show up to class the next day.

Or the next.

Or the next.

By Friday, Keith was losing his shit. Had he scared Lance off by kissing him? Why else would he miss every class that they had together for an entire week? No, Keith was being self-centered. He wasn’t that big of a deal. Lance probably had much more important things to worry about.

By the time Keith made it back to his apartment, the negative thoughts in his head had him reeling. He shut his bedroom door and fell back against the wall, sliding to the floor with his head in his hands. 

Where had Lance been all week? What if something had happened to Lance? Did he scare him off? It didn’t make sense. Lance never missed class, so where had he been all week? Keith hadn’t been able to focus on anything all week long, even Allura had asked if everything was okay on Thursday night when Keith had spaced off for the fourth time during the first hour of his shift at the bar. 

Keith banged his head back on the wall. Nothing was making sense and it was frustrating and he felt like he was losing control. He knew it was stupid and that Lance was probably fine, but that didn’t stop the giant pit of anxiety from trying to completely overwhelm him. This was why he hadn’t let anyone get close to him, this was why nobody got let in. There was too much room for error, too many of his demons were always trying to escape. God, this was so **stupid** , but his pulse was racing and his mind was going places that made absolutely no sense, but then again his head had never listened to rational thinking before.

He needed to calm down. He needed to breathe and focus on anything—anything other than what these feelings were frighteningly similar to. No. No thinking about _that._ He was worrying about Lance, this was nothing like _that._ That was in the past. This was now. And there was no reason to be freaking out, Lance was totally fine and he was being ridiculous and he just needed to _stop._

When had that ever worked? 

Keith’s hands trembled and he swallowed hard as memories he had tried so hard to forget started to surface.

 

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

_Flashing lights cut through the pitch black of the room. The air was thick and hot from the mass of people crammed into the small space, but it was even more difficult to focus than it should have been. He was fine a minute ago, so why was the room starting to spin? He wasn’t even drunk—he’d only had one drink… **Shit** what was in his drink? Keith tried to push down his panic. He needed to get outside and call Shiro. Shiro would come get him and everything would be fine. _

_Keith stumbled and leaned heavily against a wall. What was he doing again? He closed his eyes tightly and tried to think. **Shiro!** He was calling Shiro…why was he calling Shiro? He was having fun, right? That’s what parties were supposed to be about…fun. Wow, why was everything so blurry? He must have drunk a lot. Maybe he should go home. _

_A strong hand gripped his shoulder. Keith looked up to see a tall, muscular guy smiling down at him. Keith smiled as he remembered that was the guy who had gotten him a drink. Man, he was nice. The guy said something to Keith, but he couldn’t make out the words so Keith just nodded and allowed himself to be led upstairs. Where were they going? He was really tired and really just wanted to go home. Maybe this guy would help him call Shiro to pick him up._

_Keith opened his mouth to say as much but was stopped when strong arms pushed him through a doorway. Keith stumbled to the bed, unsteady on his feet. He was faintly aware of the door being locked and the guy talking to him more, but before his brain could try to process the words there were rough lips crushing his and large hands pulling at his clothes. Keith didn’t like this…this wasn’t how his first kiss or his first high school party was supposed to go…He really wanted to go home. He wanted to call Shiro, Shiro would know what to do._

_Keith tried to push the boy off him, but his body moved sluggishly. He mumbled incoherent words past the chapped lips pushing against his harder and harder, but the lips didn’t stop and the hot hands were under his shirt and slipping under the waistband of his jeans. Everything finally clicked in Keith’s head and his mind was screaming at his body to move, to yell, to do **something** , but his body wouldn’t move at all. He stared at the ceiling, unable to move as his belt was pulled off. He was screaming in his head. He wanted it to STOP PLEASE STOP. He—_

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

 

“Keith, are you okay?” Pidge’s voice on the other side of his door broke Keith out of the flashback. Keith bit his lip to stop any more sounds from leaving his lips, but he couldn’t unclench his shaking fists long enough to dry his cheeks. At the lack of a response, Pidge quietly spoke through the door again. “I’m gonna come in, okay?”

Keith didn’t answer. Pidge slowly opened the door, flooding the dark room with light from the hallway. Keith flinched from the sudden brightness but didn’t move from his spot on the floor. Pidge looked at him with a sad and concerned look. “Oh, Keith.”

They slowly crouched down in front of Keith, who was staring blankly ahead at nothing. “Is it okay if I touch you?” Keith gave a tiny nod. Pidge sat next to him and pulled the trembling boy into a hug. They rubbed his arm comfortingly as the two sat in silence.

Once Keith had calmed down and grounded himself in the present, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, completely exhausted. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

Pidge shook their head and squeezed Keith tightly. “You know I don’t care, Keith. And it’s not your fault—you can’t control that.” Keith gave a shaky, humorless laugh instead of responding. “…what triggered it this time?” 

“Something stupid and completely unrelated,” Keith held his hands tight to his legs to prevent himself from releasing his frustrations by hitting something. He gnawed on his lip for a moment. “I thought I was finally getting better.” His voice was quiet and broken. 

“You are, Keith, trust me. You haven’t had one in a couple months, right?” When Keith didn’t answer, Pidge stood up and looked at him with a wide smile. “I’ve got a tub of chocolate peanut butter ice cream with our names on it sitting in the freezer and a whole lot of anime queued up on my hard drive. When you’re ready, grab your blanket and come out to the couch.” Pidge walked out of Keith’s room and out to the kitchen.

Keith took a deep breath and wiped his face with his sweatshirt sleeve. Every time he thought he was getting over it, something triggered a flashback and it was like he had made no progress at all. He stood up and grabbed a soft blanket off his bed. He could think about this later. He could think about Lance later. Right now he just needed his best friend, a bowl of their favorite ice cream, and shitty subtitles running alongside angry, animated Japanese characters. Real life could be put on hold, just for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this fic, it was going to be pure and fluffy and happy... but then angst happened and I've decided to take this in another direction. If anyone is unhappy with where this has gone, I am sorry. The fic WILL have a happy ending, but both Keith and Lance have a long way to go before they can be happy together. I'll add tags as I go and will try to always block off especially triggering scenes so nobody is uncomfortable or anything like that. 
> 
>  
> 
> Fun fact, I had NO CLUE that Altea University would be acronym-ed to AU but I am extremely amused that it did. And if you didn't pick up on the ice cream flavor, Pidge has a love-hate relationship with peanuts and their varying forms so here we are.
> 
> Come talk to [me](http://midnightruse.tumblr.com/)!


	6. Sparks Fly

One more hour and then he could go home. He could do this.

Keith suppressed a groan as he wiped down the counter before the spilled alcohol dried and made everything sticky. He threw the rag back into the bucket below the counter, leaning against the shelves behind him while he scanned the Saturday night crowd for any troublemakers. Allura had dubbed him the bar’s Unofficial Bouncer shortly after he’d started working there when Keith had stepped in the middle of a particularly nasty bar fight to prevent the tables and chairs from being destroyed. He had a good eye for recognizing which people needed cut off before things escalated in any manner.

“Anything exciting happening tonight?” Keith turned to see one of the bar’s regulars, a guy named Todd, standing at the other end of the bar with an empty glass.

“Not unless you considered some spilled Jack Daniels exciting,” Keith nodded in the direction of Todd’s glass. “What can I get for you?”

“Just a rum and coke, the guys and I are heading home soon since we’ve got a paper to work on sometime tomorrow.” Keith snorted under his breath as he fixed Todd his drink. It was almost 2 in the morning and something told him Todd’s friends weren’t going to be anywhere near a class paper anytime soon.

“Best of luck with that,” Keith slid the drink to Todd and took the handful of bills from him.

“Close up our tabs, I’m paying tonight…lucky me, right?” Todd laughed and walked back to his group, only stumbling a little.

Keith shut the register and started taking inventory to make closing the bar in twenty minutes a little easier. As he sifted through the bottles and cans, his mind started to wander.

He still hadn’t heard from Lance. He knew that worrying was stupid and that he hardly _really_ knew the guy so he shouldn't even care that much, but the knot in his gut refused to loosen. It had been a week since he had kissed Lance McClain, and he couldn’t stop thinking about him. It wasn’t like Keith to get so damn hung up on a guy, but it was as if all his pent-up irritation and frustration over the last few semesters with Lance all just turned into…something else. Things would probably be much easier if Lance had been in class at all the past week, but of course, nothing could be that easy for Keith. Nothing ever came easy.

 

* * *

 

After telling Allura good night, Keith locked the front door of the bar and walked out toward his motorcycle that was parked in the alley beside the building. He pulled his helmet out of his bag and went to put it on but stopped short when a tall figure caught his eye across the street.

_I’d recognize that snapback anywhere._

Keith dropped his bag on the ground next to his bike before running across the street. “Lance!”

The blue-eyed boy turned around in surprise. “Keith? What are you doing here?”

Keith bit back his urge to ask Lance the same question. “I just got off work but I saw you over here and I…” Keith shifted his weight from foot to foot as he spoke. “Lance, where have you been? You didn’t show up to class all week and I was…I was kind of worried.”

Lance gave Keith a surprised look before his expression shifted, revealing something pained that was quickly covered by something guarded.

“Yeah, um, sorry about that…” Lance looked around distractedly. “Look, Keith, I’ve gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Lance took a step away from Keith, but fingerless leather gloves grabbed the material of his jacket, stopping him from moving any further.

“Lance, wait!” Keith tried to control his rising panic. This was about making sure Lance was okay, not about his own feelings. Get it together. “What’s going on? Lance, are you alright?”

Lance looked torn between pulling away from Keith so he could disappear and spilling everything right then and there.

Keith mentally kicked himself. _Well, this is going well._ Talking was Lance’s thing, not his. No, Keith was better suited to be the one to act on the words, not be the one to give them in the first place. 

“Lance,” Keith looked to the ground, his hand gripping the dark green fabric of Lance’s jacket tighter. “I’m sorry if it’s something I did. If you don’t want me to talk to you just tell me. I was just worried about you but I get it if you need me to leave you alone. Just say the word and I’m gone forever. I just need to know you’ll be okay.”

Keith didn’t see the shock on Lance’s face or the way Lance bit his lip to keep it from trembling.

They stood in silence for several long seconds before a loud clap of thunder broke the silence. Keith didn’t dare bring his eyes up from the ground. He couldn’t be looking at Lance when he told Keith he never wanted to see him again. He couldn’t.

As it started to rain, Keith shook his head and grit his teeth. _Of fucking course it would start to rain. Just fucking perfect._

A strangled laugh startled Keith out of his thoughts. He looked up to see that Lance had tilted his head back, letting the rain hit his face without obstruction. Keith watched as water rolled down Lance’s dark skin, falling from his cheeks only to disappear into his hair. When Lance dropped his head back down to look at Keith, the shorter boy realized that raindrops weren’t the only things falling; tears were mixing with the rain, but Lance made no move to brush them away. It was almost like he didn’t even know he was crying.

Keith’s hands were on Lance’s skin before he could even process what he was doing. He gently brushed away the tears with his thumbs and rested his palms on either side of Lance’s face. His eyes met Lance’s, and in them, he found shock and wonder and sadness.

Keith opened his mouth to ask Lance what was wrong, but Lance got his words out first.

“Thank you.” It was quiet and soft and nothing like the Lance that Keith had known the last few years. He realized in that moment that there was a lot more than he knew to the boy with the cocky attitude and accompanying blue snapback. Along with the realization came the very serious thought that Keith wanted to know. He wanted to know everything there was to know about Lance McClain. What made him happy and sad, how many siblings he had, who his first crush in elementary school was, what type of movies he liked to watch, whether he liked the rain or the sun better. All of these things raced through Keith’s mind, but he could only get two words out.

“For what?”

Lance took a deep breath before he smiled softly. It was the most beautiful thing Keith had ever seen. “I didn’t want to be alone right now. So, thank you.”

Keith knew there was a lot more that Lance wasn’t saying, but he wasn’t going to push it. He knew that if Lance wanted to tell him, he would in his own time. For now, though… “Can I kiss you?”

Lance’s smile took over his whole face. “Nobody’s ever asked me that before.” 

Keith smiled back, “all the more reason to ask, right?” _I just wish someone had asked me, that’s all._

Lance didn’t notice the subtle falter in Keith’s smile, or if he did he chose to leave it alone for now. They each had things they weren’t ready to talk about, and that was okay. “I’d love it if you, Keith Kogane, would kiss me, Lance McClain, the devilishly handsome Cuban legend of Altea University."

Keith laughed as he leaned in, his lips still curved in a smile as he kissed Lance. The rain plastered their hair to their faces and made their noses cold, but they didn’t care. As Lance deepened the kiss, he brought a hand up to run through Keith’s wet hair while the other pressed tightly against his back.

In this moment, standing across the street from an empty bar in the pouring rain, nothing else mattered. It was just Keith and Lance, neck and neck, and for a little while, everything was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain. Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain 'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile." -T Swizzle
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry it's been so long!! I just moved back to my university this week and everything has literally been hectic af. I'm sitting in a Starbucks right now because my house is so crazy I can barely breathe. Things should (keyword: should) slow down and updating should get easy again, but don't hate me if it doesn't!! Please T_T


	7. Everything Has Changed

“What’s your favorite animal?”

“Dude, seriously? We’re in class.”

“I’m aware, Mullet, and this is a _serious_ question. Favorite animal. Go.” 

Keith rolled his eyes but kept himself from sighing out loud, not wanting to draw any more attention from Professor Iverson than Lance had already managed to. Keith mumbled quietly to Lance, eyes moving between his notebook and the slides on the projector screen at the front of the room. “I like hippos.”

Lance snorted. Loudly.

Professor Iverson stopped lecturing to glare at the two boys. Keith had his head tucked to his chest, trying to avoid Iverson’s eye, while Lance openly gaped at Keith, completely unaware of the man about to end his life. "Of all the animals in the world, you choose hippos?!"

“Kogane. McClain."

That got Lance’s attention, and he whipped around with wide eyes to face his professor. He squeaked out a small “Yes, sir?”

“Would either of you care to share with the rest of the class what it is you find so intriguing that you saw it fit to interrupt me?” Keith looked over to Lance in time to see the panic flying across his face.  _Why do I get myself into these situations?_

Keith slumped further in his seat and ran a gloved hand carelessly through his hair. "We were just talking.”

Iverson scowled at Keith while gesturing impatiently with his hands. “Share with the rest of your classmates then, since it was so important.” 

Keith made a show of rolling his eyes; he even kicked his feet up onto the back of the seat in front of him. “I was just making a comment to my buddy Lance, here, about how your hair looked today…or the...” Keith paused, tilting his head to the side and squinting, “lack thereof.”

The entire hall went completely silent, save for Lance’s choked gasp. Iverson’s eye widened in anger, but Keith only nonchalantly quirked an eyebrow at the man as if to challenge him further.  Before Iverson could blow up, Keith sighed and loudly threw his feet back to the floor, throwing his notebook, along with Lance’s, in his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He pulled the still-frozen Lance to his feet and shoved his bag into his arms, pushing Lance down the aisle as he went. 

“Catch ya later, Prof.” Keith threw a lazy peace sign over his shoulder before he pushed the door open. The instant the door shut, Iverson’s roaring reached the other end of the hall. Students in the building watched with rising concern as Keith ran by, Lance’s hand in his as he pulled Lance behind him and out of the building. 

Once they were clear of the building, Keith stopped running. Gasping for breath, Lance nearly ran into him with his sudden stop.

Keith took one look at Lance’s confused and wide-eyed expression before doubling over in laughter. Naturally, Lance only looked more lost than before at seeing Keith’s sudden outburst.

“Why are you? What just? I? What?”

Ignoring the questioning looks of the students walking by them, Keith made a great effort to pull himself together. He wiped away the tears in the corner of his eyes, but the wide grin never left his face. “You should see your face right now, Lance. It’s almost as great at Iverson’s was.” 

“Wait,” Lance reached out to grab Keith’s shoulder and pull the other boy in front of him. “That actually just happened?” Keith nodded and failed miserably at covering up his small snort of laughter. Lance jaw dropped. “Okay, firstly, you just snorted and that was the most adorable thing I’ve seen this week. Second, you just dissed Prof Iverson _and_ ditched class. Third, holy shit you saved my ass back there but now I think we are in a hell of a lot more trouble. And fifth, or was it fourth...whatever. Holy quiznak you have such a cute laugh, why do you refuse to act happy around people?!”

“It’s not cute.” Keith crossed his arms and ducked his head to let his bangs hide the blush staining his cheeks. 

“Nope, it absolutely is,” Lance threw an arm around Keith, startling him out of his pouting. “So now that you’ve kidnapped me from class, what’s your plan, Hotshot?” 

Keith snorted, again, but he found himself relaxing into Lances’ hold. He'd never felt this comfortable around another person before, and a part of him was scared but the other part was completely entranced and captivated by the stars of deep blue freckling Lance's bright eyes and the way his hair curled at his neck and the happiness that radiated from him like he was the sun. “Wanna go grab some coffee?”

"Walking? Coffee? Are you asking me out on a date?” Lance winked at Keith and wagged his eyebrows. 

Keith laughed. "Yeah, something like that." 

Keith snuck a sideways glance at Lance before snaking his arm around Lance’s waist. He smirked at the faint blush creeping along Lance’s dark skin. The two headed off toward the closest café with their arms around each other. Keith gave up trying to hide the smile on his face that mirrored the one on Lance’s. This moment was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "All I know is you said 'hello,' and your eyes looked like coming home...All I've known since yesterday is everything has changed."
> 
> I'm back! So sorry for taking so long to update—college is kicking my ass and I'm only on the second week of this semester. ~Hopefully~ I can get my schedule to settle down so updates go back to being more steady.


	8. Never Gonna Give You Up

Keith yawned as he unlocked his door. He threw it open unceremoniously, dropped his bag on the ground, and flung himself on the couch with a groan. Right onto a grumbling Pidge.

“Pidge, I want to die.”

“You’re one to talk,” Pidge grunted out as they tried, and failed, to push Keith out of their lap and onto the floor. “Your lungs aren’t currently being flattened.”

Keith stretched out dramatically and received an undignified squawk as Pidge was squished even more. “Living up to your name, are you Pidgeon?”

“Remind me why we are friends again?” Pidge glared as much as they could while disappearing into the folds of the couch under Keith.

Keith pulled himself off of Pidge and settled onto the other side of the couch. “Your words hurt, gremlin.”

“I know where you sleep.”

“Touché.”

“So why are you dying?” Keith frowned at Pidge’s words. He had almost forgotten that he was supposed to be miserable right now.

“It’s Lance.”

Pidge tilted their head curiously. “What about Lance? I thought you guys were good?”

“That’s exactly it though!” Keith leaned his head back to look at the ceiling while he tried to sort his thoughts out. “Everything is going great…”

“Then what are you worried about, Keith?”

Keith finally met Pidge’s concerned gaze. “It’s just…we’ve been going out for a few weeks now and he’s stupid and perfect and I love it when he holds my hand and stupid crap like that, but…” Keith’s voice got small and he looked at the ground as he lost confidence in his words. “Something is going to go wrong, it  _has_  to. It’s only a matter of time before this all blows up or I do something wrong or he realizes I’m not everything he thinks I am or…I’m going to mess it up somehow and I don’t want him to get hurt.”

When he didn’t get a response, Keith slowly raised his eyes to look at Pidge. Their face was a mix of shock, irritation and…concern? Pidge took a deep breath before scooting closer to Keith on the couch so they could lay their head on his shoulder.

“You’re not going to mess it up, Keith. I know you think you will and I understand where you are coming from, I really do. This time is different, though. You and Lance are different.” Sensing Keith was about to interject, Pidge half-heartedly punched Keith’s arm underneath them. “Let me finish, dumbass.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Keith mumbled unconvincingly.

“Uh-huh, sure. But really, Keith, trust me on this one. I know it’s scary and this is the first time you’ve gotten this serious about someone after… _that_ …but Lance and you? You guys are all gross and lovey-dovey and you finish each other’s memes for god sake.”

“I know, Pidge, but what happens when I—”

“It won’t. Believe me, okay? When am I ever wrong?”

Keith smiled. “Thanks, Pidgey.” Then he reached over and ruffled Pidge’s hair, sufficiently ending the moment and his thoughts that refused to calm down, even after Pidge's reassurance.

Pidge jumped up with a yell. They tried to flatten their hair back to a normal level of messy rather than the frizzy afro Keith had turned it into. When they realized it was futile, Pidge whirled around and pointed a finger at Keith with a glare. “That’s it, Kogane. I’m going to fucking take you down.”

Keith didn’t move from his spot on the couch. Instead, he crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow. “Just how exactly are you planning on doing that?”

Pidge grinned wickedly. Keith’s stomach sank. He knew that look.

“Pidge, no.”

“Pidge, yes.”

Keith tried to stand up to stop Pidge, but it was too late. Their phone was already in their hand.

A while back, Pidge had reprogrammed their phone to respond to “Rover” rather than “Siri” since they thought they could make an AI ten times better than Apple could. Now Rover was completely synced to the apartment and could do just about anything. They proved that now.

“Hey, Rover. Play ‘Keith’s Kryptonite.’”

“No, Pidge, don’t do it!”

“Playing ‘Keith’s Kryptonite,’” the phone responded.

The first few notes of the song blared through the speakers in the living room. Keith buried his face in a pillow to try to drown out the sounds of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” assaulting his ear drums.

“Fuck you, Pidge,” Keith yelled over the song.

“Sorry pal, I’m ace.” Pidge waved sardonically and made their way to their room, leaving Keith to sit in rickrolling misery alone.

“Fuck me,” he grumbled into the pillow.

“Still not interested!” Pidge shouted from their room much too happily for Keith’s liking.

Once the song was finally over, Keith was left to his own thoughts again. He felt his stomach turning as his anxiety crawled up his throat to choke his mind. He wanted to believe Pidge, he really did. But he knew it was pointless. He would mess it up, it was really only a matter of time...before he made Lance leave him behind forever...or worse.

Keith closed his eyes and curled into a ball on the couch. He wanted Pidge to be right. He wanted to make this thing with Lance last. But there was so much that could go wrong and so little room for error. He'd fuck it up eventually, he knew it. He always messed things up. Everything was his fault. Even  _that_  night. And now he was eventually going to hurt Lance, which almost seemed even worse. 

Eventually, his anxiety tired him out and he felt himself dozing off. Maybe when he woke up everything would be fine again. He really hoped it would. He really liked Lance. He didn't want to hurt Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long, I am so sorry everyone. I know I keep saying it, but this semester is slaying my existence. I'm trying to get better, I promise! I'm not abandoning this fic or Unexpected Wishes, I promise!! 
> 
> So my best friend makes these bomb-ass playlists on Spotify for all the paladins, and she fucking rickrolled my sorry ass in one of them, so now you all get to suffer as well.


End file.
